Monday, January 29, 2007


Was in Tartu last with Mari last week for several reasons, one of which was to go to see "Kits õnge ja viiuliga", which is part of the Artists trilogy by Mart Kivastik. Although some critics say the play is no good, I must object. I have never ever had such an deep-reaching experience before. Aleksander Eelmaa managed to play the role of Elmar Kits with such a clarity and sense that I thought I was looking into a mirror. It was all there. My fears, my feelings towards things unfinished, aging, friends, desires it was all there.

During the pause I wrote the following. I meant to post it separately but figured one would need some context:
I do not know how to deal with debt. I just keep on giving and giving and can never find a suitable time to ask for it payed back. There is not even a thought of that. Although I need it, badly. I need it.

I have never had many friends. The few there were have grown apart or have been forgotten. I don't want to forget, I still remember them but can't find a way to tell them. What would there be to say anyway?

But still I remember the friends and the times we had.

"Tardo liin, va pordumaja"

Huh, guess visiting Tartu makes me nostalgic.

To make it short: to learn most of things about me, go and watch that piece in Tartu or Vinnistu. And Mr.-s Eelmaa and Kivistik (also Tõnu Oja) are a bunch of geniuses.

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